Two weeks post chemo…

Things are going good. I have been super busy this last week finishing some real estate classes that I started right before my diagnosis and had to put it on hold. So I have been in classes from 9-4 all week which isn’t so bad but then you add the drive which is normally 45 minutes until you add traffic, bad weather and extreme cold to the mix and well it took me 2 and half hours to get home. TWO AND A HALF HOURS!!! on slippery roads. I literally white knuckled it the entire way home. I don’t think my hands left the steering wheel once. So other than a crazy schedule and crazy weather, things have been good. It helps to keep busy, especially while waiting for my first scan which is in a week and a half. I wanted to make sure I had lots of things to work on to distract me. So, just patiently waiting for my scan. I’m feeling pretty good about it. I’m not too nervous until I start thinking about it too much. But overall I feel like it will be good results. My energy seems so be coming back a little however I still get tired out quickly if I try to do too much or just don’t take it easy. I have zero hair growth, in fact its STILL falling out. The last of my eyebrows and the little eyelash growth I had last month is falling out again. I also am having sharp pains in my knee. Still hurts to brush my teeth, bleeding gums. Difficulty sleeping.  A little bit of chest pain still lingering and night sweats of course. People often ask me how I stay so positive through all of this and honestly part of it is something I learned from my mom which is “fake it til you make it”. That has helped through a lot of this. Obviously there are good days and bad days but I try to stay positive even on the bad days. If I let myself get too down it’s a lot harder to get back up. Also pretending to be happy really does make you happy. Have you ever forced yourself to smile when you are angry. When you don’t want to smile because you’re angry and you know it makes you feel better and sometimes you just want to be angry. Sometimes it’s okay to fake it. Not all the time. But it helps. I also make sure to keep the humor in life. We all know how healing that can be. And last but not least, through all of this I have learned the power of surrender. It’s as simple as that. I have learned the freedom that comes with giving everything to God. It is not in my power to control my destiny. To control if my cancer returns or not. It’s just simply not in my power. I don’t give it to God expecting a cure in return, although I do pray for that. It’s so I don’t have to worry. It takes away a lot of the worrying. A lot of the fear. A lot of the negativity and anger. Not all of it, I still have my days but it is very liberating to give it away. I had to come up with a way for this to not drive me so mad to the point where I couldn’t be the person I want to be. And I am very grateful that along the way I found the way to do that.



3 thoughts on “Two weeks post chemo…

  1. Jennifer

    I believe you will be Okay. Everything is in Gods hands. Your Super Strong and will win this fight. I’m still praying for you. Love you.


  2. Pam Massie

    Thanking God for His constant presence…. wherever you are. You’ve touched many lives throughout your journey and given us hope!!!! Prayers for total healing,


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