Good bye hair….9/14/14

Well my haircut did not last long at all. My hair began falling out so fast just a few days ago I had to shave it. So I officially now have no hair. This has certainly been the hardest part. I was worried that I was going to have a funny shaped head but I actually have a pretty normal head 😜. I have just started going out in public with a scarf on my head. It will take some getting used to. At first I wanted nothing to do with wigs. But now that the time is here I do wish I was more comfortable wearing a wig. Part of me feels like the wig thing is so much more “fake” and I don’t want to feel like I have to hide my head or what I am going through. I guess I want to try and prove to myself that I can be comfortable or confident enough not having to wear one. Not having to hide. I worry putting a wig on everyday will make me feel like I am ashamed or make me look more like I am embarrassed about what I am going thru when I don’t want to be. But at the same time going out in public the last few days with my scarf has been tough. I am getting used to it and I know I will get to a point where I am totally comfortable with it but I won’t have hair for a long time and it would be nice to be able to see myself with hair again and feel put together and normal again also. It’s going to many many months before I will even have hair growth and then many many months to regrow my hair to the length I’m happy with. So i do think it’s best for me to be comfortable in both scarves and wigs so I get to choose on any given day what I will wear. I feel like that will make me feel more like I am in control and not the cancer. So my wonderful aunt Mary Feidler who lives in Colorado found me a perfect happy medium. Her and some family members and friends were kind and thoughtful enough to get me a wig with a hat attached, so it’s not actually a full wig. More like a hat with hair and the hair is real human hair. I am so excited to get it in the mail. I will post a pic of what it looks like at the end of the post. I have not yet come across anything like this. It’s either been a hat or wig. But I love the idea and it looks beautiful and I just couldn’t be more grateful that she found it online and made it all happen for me. I can honestly say I feel more blessed in my life right now than ever before. God has just showered me with love and I feel honored that I get to be one that He has chosen to experience His love first hand through the kindness of everyone around me. He has put so many wonderful people into my life and I just can’t thank them all enough. My life and my relationships have completely changed since my diagnosis. I never imagined this happening. I never thought I could be so happy and have cancer at the same time. It truly is the power of God as well as attitude. Having a positive attitude towards all of this has allowed me to see all of the wonderful things God is doing for me and appreciate them so much that the anger or bitterness I could be having instead stands no chance. I am not comfortable yet posting a pic of my bald head but I will post of pic of the wonderful gift from my family and friends in Colorado. Thank you so much!

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8 thoughts on “Good bye hair….9/14/14

  1. Mom and Dad

    Amy Mae, I know you already know because we tell you everyday, but we want everyone to know that we are so, so PROUD of you. We love You Mom and Dad

    Like

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